I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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