he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Rumble strips road head = magical
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
