somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
