the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
