Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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