Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
