so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
