Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
