Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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