i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
