he wants to bone in the snuggie
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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