Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
