Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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