Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
