i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
