I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
