guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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