where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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