having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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