Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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