no, he came in my armpit
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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