My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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