Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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