I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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