I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
