just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
