I'm eating all of the evidence.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
