I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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