I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
