I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
vagina is talking i cant
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
