My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
