which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
