Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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