whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
