I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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