O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
