Kareoke will never be a sober sport
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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