xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
