Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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