You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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