Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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