There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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