Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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