My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
