Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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