id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
