I want to have your abortion
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
