There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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