i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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