well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
