If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
