I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
